It’s not a question of if you can create a meaningful life, it’s a question of how.
COUNSELING FOR DISABILITY & CAREGIVING IN ARKANSAS
Counseling support for people adapting to disability or caregiving. Navigate the changes and reclaim a life of purpose and connection.
DISABILITY CAN TURN YOUR WORLD UPSIDE DOWN.
Whether it happened slowly over time or suddenly, the presence of a disability in your life or the life of someone important to you can bring on so many changes and struggles. You might be experiencing effects related to dealing with change such as anxiety or depression. You may have trauma related to the events that led to the disability.
The resources that exist to help can be impossible to find or are an endless sea of red tape. It seems like no one is really listening to you. They make a lot of assumptions about your situation and give you a “one size fits all” response. Friends and family might be supportive, but they don’t really understand. They don’t seem to get it, even when you know they mean well.
You might feel as if you’re lost a piece of who you are, or lost yourself entirely.
Hope seems like a luxury you don’t have anymore and learning to adapt seems pointless. Where to even begin?
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You're not only struggling to find hope in your situation but having to deal with learning to live with a new set of challenges and limitations. Disability can not only change how others view you, it can change how you see yourself.
Daily tasks that used to be so easy now seem so much more challenging and frustrating.
You get angry at yourself for struggling with things that used to be so simple or tell yourself that it’s not fair this happened to you.
You feel stuck, hoping for a miracle or wishing you could turn back time to avoid what happened.
You feel grief over the loss of life as it was before.
You blame yourself for the changes that others in your life are making as they learn to support you.
You may be struggling with a loss of independence, depending on the disability.
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You have your own unique challenges. You might be the partner, child, parent, or friend of the person and are trying your best to be supportive and helpful, but this is a time of change for you as well.
You sometimes get frustrated by the situation, which then turns into negative feelings about the person.
You then feel guilty for getting frustrated by or angry at the person.
You tell yourself you’ll have to do everything for them, which can lead to feelings of resentment.
You may have become overprotective and enable the person’s feelings of helplessness because you worry about their health and safety when they act independently.
You have no idea where to begin in supporting and encouraging them in reclaiming a life worth living.
You know self-care is important as a caregiver, but it feels like a luxury you don’t have.
WHERE TO GO FROM HERE?
Right now, you might be feeling overwhelmed and lost. You don’t know where to begin to acknowledge and adapt to the change.
Accepting that this has happened feels like giving up, yet you can’t deny the reality that it has happened. Thinking about moving forward makes you feel anxious and confused. Thinking about not moving forward makes you feel depressed and stuck.
The world beyond your walls seems scary in a way you’ve never known before. You think about how people might stare or treat you differently now. You wonder how you’ll ever be able to move through the world and feel and be seen as a capable adult. What kind of changes will you need to work, take care of general life, or do the things you love?
THERE IS HOPE. YOU CAN ADAPT.
It’s not a question of if something can be done. It’s a question of how you learn to live differently with the changes you’ve experienced. Our work together will meet you where you’re at right now and start to think about the future when you’re ready. This is a big adjustment, and there is no right or wrong way to proceed. There is only what is right for you at your own pace.
With that in mind, adapting to disability or caregiving often involves some key areas of work.
EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS
A lot of challenging thoughts and feelings arise when adapting. Grief, anger, frustration, and wishful thinking are all very natural. It can be hard to express these to others because they just don’t get it. We’ll give you the time and space to express it, but we’ll also help you untangle yourself from these when you’re ready.
EXPLORE YOUR OPTIONS
Once you feel ready to start adapting to your circumstances, we’ll look at what practical solutions might help. This might include looking into support services in your community that can help with training, tools, and advocacy. We’ll also brainstorm solutions that think outside the box that can help you adapt to day-to-day living.
EXPAND YOUR LIFE
Finally, we can look ahead at restoring a sense of purpose and joy beyond daily living. We’ll look at the things that are important to you such as work, hobbies, and new things you’d like to try. We’ll build your confidence in your ability to handle the challenges to craft a life that feels rewarding and worth living.
COUNSELING FOR DISABILITY & CAREGIVING CAN HELP
Process the thoughts and feelings you’re experiencing. Yes, that also means you can cuss a lot if you want to.
Identify and access community support including training, tools, and advocacy as well as social connection.
Brainstorm creative solutions to everyday challenges that even trained disability specialists may not think of.
Identify the things that bring purpose and joy into your life and help you reconnect with them.
Take steps to reclaim your life, even with the changes that have happened.
COMMON QUESTIONS ABOUT COUNSELING FOR DISABILITY
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It's true, therapy won't make the situation go away. It won't improve your mobility, restore your sight, or take away chronic pain or illness. But it can change how you react and relate to your circumstances.
The presence of disability in your life or the life of someone you care about threatens to take away all hope for a life of meaning and joy. How will you work now? How will you pursue the hobbies and activities you enjoyed before your situation changed?
I won't blow a bunch of sunshine at you and tell you it won't suck at times or be challenging even when you learn to adapt. You'll have to deal with things that most people don't deal with or take for granted. But, I can tell you that you absolutely can create a life that gives you a sense of purpose - even with the challenges.
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You’re right. We have no control over the world around us and how people react to us. Many people, unfortunately, are not aware of how to accommodate disabilities. Businesses are sometimes ignorant of what is required by them under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Even government offices are sometimes not properly equipped with required accommodations under the ADA.
As the partner of someone with a disability and a queer person, myself, I understand how tiring it is sometimes to move through a world that doesn’t understand you. Having to advocate for yourself gets exhausting. Choosing to let something go without advocating feels like you’re letting yourself down.
These thoughts and feelings can eat at you and pile up. While therapy can’t change the world around us, it can help in managing the feelings of anger, sadness, anxiety, and fatigue that comes with existing as someone who is different from what society calls “normal.”
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That’s completely natural. There’s a lot to figure out and it can be very confusing. That is where having someone to brainstorm with is helpful - especially someone who has been in a similar situation.
My partner and I struggled when she acquired a visual disability. Support services were of little help because she had her own aspirations and dreams that didn't fit their cookie-cutter programs. There was so much to learn and adapt to that we didn't know where to start.
Often, it's not a question of finding the right place to start but just starting somewhere. But that can be hard when you're overwhelmed. Therapy can help you sort things out and develop a plan that feels approachable to you and your individual situation. We can help you start small and work up from there.
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One of my favorite quotes about this comes from Jeffery Marsh who said, “There is no harder than. There is only hard.”
While it’s true that the person you see struggling has some very tough and unique challenges, the fact is life has changed for you as well. You have your own story in this and your own struggles. As the partner of a person with a disability, I know how tempting it is to put all of the focus on them - but you deserve support as well.
They have their own unique struggles, but you also have yours.
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I provide mental health counseling support for people adapting to disability or caregiving. MoonPath Counseling is not set up to provide equipment, financial aid, or other resources for adapting to disability.
Some helpful resources depending on your area may include:
The Department of Human Services (DHS).
The Center for Independent Living (CIL) for your area.
Local chapters of support organizations such as the Arkansas chapter of the American Council of the Blind.