LGBTQ+ affirming therapy in Arkansas
Discover yourself. Embrace authenticity. Find the freedom to be yourself.
Therapy for folks exploring their sexuality or gender, struggling with the stress of being queer or transgender in this society, or simply looking for a supportive space where you can be authentically you.
Finding a therapist is hard enough without worrying about being judged for who you are.
Being true to yourself, confident in your sexuality and gender, and knowing you are part of the larger LGBTQIA+ community can be a huge source of joy, pride, and freedom.
But it can also be hard, even scary, to live in a world that doesn’t seem to include you. At times, it seems impossible to create a joyful life in this world. And the challenges can be different depending on here you are in your self-discovery.
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You may be feeling lost and isolated if you're questioning your sexuality or gender. Something feels different about you and you're not sure why. You feel glimmers of attraction that surprise you or ideas about yourself that worry you. You try to live up to the ways you're told you're supposed to be, who you're supposed to like, and what you're supposed to wear but something just feels... off.
It's like you're moving through the world wearing a mask. You're playing a character that doesn't fit you.
But every now and then you have a moment of clarity. Something feels good. Feels right.
A split-second afterward you're dogpiled by feelings of shame and guilt. Something in you tells you it's wrong, immoral, or it's not real. You bury it all back down and vow to never have those thoughts or feelings again and throw yourself back into the roles you think you're supposed to fill.
Those little, glimmering moments of joy come at the cost of a world of pain. You let your light shine for just a second then snuff it out.
It hurts. It's lonely. -
The path to self-discovery and authenticity is hard for anyone, but you may be struggling with some of the challenges faced by some in the LGBTQIA+ community such as:
Internalized homophobia, biphobia, or transphobia.
A lack of public understanding about your identity, especially ones that are less talked about such as being nonbinary, asexual, or aromantic.
Microaggressions based on hetero- or cisnormative assumptions made about you such as being called "sir" or "ma'am" or someone assuming the sex or gender of a partner you're talking about.
Doubting your sexuality or gender because of your lived experience up to now.
The fear and risks faced in coming out to others.
Managing feelings of dysphoria.
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You know who you are. You’ve gone through that journey of awareness and come out on the other side with a clear sense of identity but now have to navigate a world that doesn’t make space for you at the best of times and can feel incredibly hostile and dangerous at the worst of times.
You’re trying to manage anxiety or deal with a life change, looking for support for grief, or deal with one of the many things that lead people to look for a therapist. The last thing you want to worry about is whether or not you can be truly open with your therapist about your relationships and identity without being secretly judged by them. You might even worry that your therapist will insist your sexuality or gender is the problem rather than your actual problems.
You don’t want to have to hide who you are or justify yourself or your relationships to your therapist. You want to spend your session talking about why you’re actually there instead of having to stop and explain what terms like “cis,” “demi,” “aroace,” or “pansexual” mean.
Our community faces a disproportionate amount of mental health issues, which is no surprise given the amount of injustice faced every day. These add to the stress and strain of daily living that many people struggle with. But many people may not also have to worry about things like family rejection, workplace discrimination, religious persecution, or seeing news about legislation attacking your basic human rights for the simple fact that you are who you are.
That added layer of complexity is even greater if you have other challenges based on your race, ethnicity, or disability status.
But there is hope! You are valid and deserve support that lets you be you without fear or apology. Therapy can help.
Take a moment to picture what life could be like if you could make the changes you want. Envision yourself being confident and comfortable in who you are, free from the pain of internalized homophobia, biphobia, or transphobia - embracing the version of you that brings a sense of joy and flavor to life. Imagine having supportive people in your life, connection with others, and a community you know you belong to.
Picture yourself moving through the world feeling confident in who you are rather than relying on others for validation, trusting your ability to hand the challenges of living in a heteronormative and cisnormative, mononormative world.
Visualize yourself embracing all parts of who you are and having a life that feels worth living.
Working with an LGBTQ+ therapist means you don’t have to hide, explain, or justify those parts of yourself.
While my identity as a queer person and experiences will be different from yours, I understand what it’s like to have to deal with these challenges because I’ve been there in my own way. You want someone who won’t just nod and cluelessly ask you, “How did that make you feel?” With an affirming therapist who is also a member of the community, you can worry less about sessions being “Rainbow 101” and focus on actual therapy.
Together, we can do the hard work needed to get you where you want to go. Our plan will be customized to your unique needs, but often involves three key stages:
Exploration
While the pain of our problems is often what motivates us to seek the help of a therapist, there is a lot of value in looking forward to the life you want to be living once you learn to manage your problems.
We’ll explore your ideas for the future through the lenses of pleasure, play, and possibility. Together, we’ll help you get an idea of the things you want to move toward rather than the the things you want to move away from.
For many clients, this creates a vision to follow that makes the hard work feel worthwhile.
Deconstruction
We’ll identify the things that stand between you and the future you envisioned in the exploration phase and help you to:
Unhook from burdens of the past and fears of the future.
Break the chains of internalized oppression and overthinking.
Get out of your head and back into your life.
Quiet the voices inside that make you doubt yourself, the validity of your identity, and your place in the LGBTQIA+ community.
Integration
Finally, we’ll put it all together to help you feel confident in your ability to move toward your goals. We’ll break things into small, manageable steps that set you up for success in facing your challenges.
You’ll develop the skills to manage uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, self-soothe physical reactions, reduce feelings of doubt and dysphoria, and replace unhelpful ways of thinking and living with ones that are life-enhancing.
In time, you will feel confident in who you are and your ability to handle whatever life throws at you.
There is a path forward. You don’t have to uncover it alone.
You deserve a space where you feel comfortable to explore and express who you are without fear of being judged for the things you want and need to talk about. That is why our sessions will always be:
Affirming of the broad diversity of gender identities, gender expressions, and sexualities.
Sex-informed, sex-positive, and kink-aware.
Supportive of different models of healthy relationships including polyamory, polysexual relationships, and consensual non-monogamy.
Affirming of asexuality and aromanticism.
Health at all sizes.
Ready to take that first step?
Click the link below to schedule a free, 20-minute consultation call. We’ll talk at that time to answer any questions you have about our work together so you can decide if it feels like a good fit. No pitches. No pressure.
FAQ for LGBTQ+ Therapy
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LGBTQ+ folks have the same concerns as anyone else such as anxiety, depression, trauma, or grief. But it can be hard to work on your problems if you worry about speaking as freely in session as a person who is heterosexual or cisgender. This is where having a therapist who is also a member of the LGBTQ+ community, or at least one you know is supportive and affirming, can help - because you know you don't have to hide any part of who you are in sessions.
Being a member of the LGBTQ+ community, however, can cause these common problems to show up in unique ways such as:
Anxiety about coming out, changing your presentation in public, or anti-LGBTQ+ legislation.
Substance use and other addictions that developed as a way to cope with problems related to self-acceptance and socializing in queer spaces.
Navigating the coming-out process as well as deciding if it is safe to come out.
Grief related to the life changes that may come from accepting yourself or grief over the childhood you didn't get to have as your true self.
Struggles self-acceptance and self-confidence because of internalized oppression such as homophobia, biphobia, or transphobia.
Navigating relationships and dating as your true self.
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Not at all. Your sexuality is based on who you're attracted to, not the sex or gender of people with whom you have or haven't had romantic or intimate experience. There are many reasons why a person might have been living a heteronormative life prior to really awakening to themselves. None of that means you're fooling yourself or making it up.
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No, it does not mean that your relationship has to end. Your identity as a bisexual or pansexual person is based on your attractions, not your dating or sexual history or experience going forward.
But I also cannot guarantee this will not affect your relationship. Some of it will depend on your wants and needs as you discover yourself.
Some of it will depend on how your partner reacts, how this affects their feelings about you, their views and acceptance around LGBTQ+ folks, and their own wants and needs for the relationship.
It will also depend on what the two of you decide as you work together on this and decide what the relationship will look like moving forward. You may choose to maintain a monogamous relationship, agree to consensual non-monogamy, or decide the relationship will need to end or radically transform.
However, as someone who came out as pansexual and largely same-sex attracted after more than a decade of marriage, I can tell you that it is completely possible to have a great, monogamous marriage while also feeling valid in your sexuality.
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No! Your identity as an asexual or aromantic person is not something that needs to be fixed. It is a part of who you are and something that makes you unique and awesome.
Counseling for folks who realize they are aromantic or asexual is not about making you want relationships you don't want. Rather, our work can focus on things like:
Exploring what you consider to be meaningful, nourishing relationships.
Deconstructing the social models of what a "normal relationship" is to help you understand that "normal" isn't anything but a setting on a washing machine.
Helping you redefine your present relationships to be supportive of who you are.
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Yes! The story of "being trapped in the wrong body" and having overwhelmingly painful gender dysphoria is just one narrative. It just happens to be the one we see the most in the media due to sensationalizing the experience of transgender and gender-diverse people.
There are all kinds of ways to to experience and express your gender. There is no single "right" way to be transgender or gender-diverse. There is only what is right for you and we can help you find that.
My approach is based less on dysphoria and guided more on the Gender Freedom Model developed by Rae McDaniel. This focuses less on dysphoria and more on finding what brings you a sense of gender euphoria.
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I presently do not simply due to concerns of training but will be adding this in the future. Feel free to reach out to me to ask about an update or I can help you connect with folks who do write letters as long as you are a resident of the state of Arkansas.
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Yes, and it would be my honor to support you in the work you want to do to be supportive of your loved one.
Together, we can work on the areas where you struggle with supporting them such as:
General understanding of what it means to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community.
Addressing your internalized beliefs and biases, such as how you were raised in your family, religious messaging, and social conditioning.
Navigating the changes this means for you and your relationship with your loved one. You have your own experience in this as well and deserve support.
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Sex-informed therapy means that the therapist has been trained to integrate all facets of sex and intimacy into a holistic approach to therapy that is non-judgmental and accepting of the diverse ways people experience love, attraction, intimacy, relationships, and pleasure. There are many ways consenting adults can enjoy these things and there is no one “right” model for what healthy relationships and sex lives look like.
Our work together will be:
Sex-positive
Kink-positive
Body-positve
Supportive of the identities that feel right to you
Welcoming of diverse relationship models including polyamory and ethical nonmonogamy
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No amount of therapy can reprogram who you are. Conversion therapy has been debunked as an approach that is not only ineffective but can be very damaging to the individual.
Your sexuality or gender identity are not things to be fixed. They are not wrong or immoral. Our work will not involve any element of attempts at conversion.